Kayleen bought a... WHAT?

Soooo I have decided that I am going through the "nesting" portion of this adoption. I just have the feeling of urgency to get everything ready for my little boy. Weird, I have absolutely no idea how close the end is, but I just feel that I need to get some things that are necessary for the trip out there.

With that being said, I bought my very first car seat....for MY child. What? This is something, that at one time in my life, I had accepted I would never do. I wanted to shout it out to the world, tell everyone how excited I am. Instead I will calmly blog about it. (while I do, I keep staring at it)

What a feeling!!!! What a roller coaster of emotions running through me at this time. Excitement is the one that hits me the strongest, but I am not sure how long it will last. I have no idea how soon I will get word, it's hard to know how long to hold onto this feeling.

I still want to find a jogging stroller as well as an inexpensive stroller for the travel portion of our new adventure. The jogging stroller I need to spend some time researching to see which one will work best for me and my little guy. The one for travel will be one I look around at stores I am in and will grab when one "speaks to me" (and my pocket book).

I have had a lot of questions about when I am having a baby shower. It's hard to plan a date when I don't know anything about the little boy (Height, Weight, clothing size, etc.).  All of that information I just won't have until I get my official referral, and even then, I don't know if it will include it. As soon as I know anything on sizes, I will let the appropriate people know so baby showers can be planned.  I appreciate, so much, the love I am feeling with this adoption and how many people want to participate in celebrating this little boy coming into my world.

Can this really be happening? Am I really this close to getting my little nugget? I am almost afraid to hope.

Contractions?

Since I have never been pregnant this is the question I am asking myself this morning, Have the "contractions" begun? It seems they may have, they are far apart, but I feel like they have started. I received an email yesterday from my case manager at Children's House International. This is it said:   

"Since the child that C4C (Chances 4 Children) suggested to be matched with you and our dossier were all submitted to IBESR before September, they say they will honor those matches. Several families are in this same boat and we have not seen the results...but that is what they are saying. Once the borth parent interviews are completed (and they are going very slowly), IBESR will send you (through us?) the referral information on your little guy. We're not sure exactly the logistics on this as it's all new, but that is the theory right now."

OH MY HECK!!!!!! There were oodles of emotions running through me yesterday when that email came in. Excitement, nervousness, being giddy, being scared, and the like. I literally knocked over the drink on my desk when I saw the email address. It was quite funny, I am such a dork.

My mind was swimming all night with questions. Do I need to pack a bag? What will I need while I am there? Should I make a packing list? Are all my documents prepared and do I know where they are for a trip? Do I need to start looking at car seats, since I will have to take one with me? Is his room as ready as I want it to be? Is my camera decent enough to take good pictures when I am there? Should I get a new one, one of a little better quality? I want the first pictures of my nugget to be good. Am I ready to be away from work for that long? Am I ready to become a mama?

I guess these are the things that run through the minds of first time moms, getting ready to go into labor. Not knowing at what moment I will have to head out (no pun intended). This has been a long two and a half year process. Now that we are close, it seems to have gone sooooo fast.

With this email, my prayers have turned from me to the birth parents of my little nugget-to-be. I pray they know in their hearts what they are doing is right for them. I pray they feel the spirit that I wish upon them. I hope they can come to know that I will raise their son to be an AWESOME man. I pray they are willing and able to pass him on to me and be comforted in that decision. I cannot imagine what they must be going through. I cannot imagine how they feel. I can only be grateful for them and their willingness to allow their son to have a life better than he could have had in Haiti. Please join me in my prayers for them. They are good-hearted people to allow this.

Forward I go, to continue in the waiting process. Thank you all for your continued support. Until the next update....... Kayleen's Kid Quest continues.