Am I happy?

   The answer is YES,  I am truly happy. I know it's hard for some people to understand how I can be happy being single, not knowing marriage and family as others do. Trust me,  this is something that I have had a long time to think about it. This answer I give, is truthful. I am happy with who I have become in this life.

   I won't say it has been an easy road getting to this point in life. There are many times I questioned why I haven't found that special someone who wants to spend the rest of eternity with me. I questioned why I haven't been able to start the family I dreamed of while growing up. Questioned why, knowing how much I truly love kids, I wasn't lucky enough to have one (or more). With no audible answer ever given to me, I can say that over time, The Lord has helped me understand that my life has gone exactly the way it was supposed to go. It's not one thing where I can just tell you why, it's a lot of little feelings, and promptings that has helped me realize that I am where I am supposed to be.

    There have been two ways I could approach life. I could be angry and hateful because I don't have those things I want, always being cynical about my lot in life or I could embrace where my life is taking me and be who I know I am. Though it took a few years to fully understand who I truly am inside. I must admit, that I like who I found.  I have tried to show everyone in my life who I am and why I am the way I am. I have tried to hide nothing. If you have a question ask me, don't assume. I am happy to share with you what I have found.

   Serving the youth of the church has filled that void of children for many years. There are certain youth, over the years, in which I have bonded with who made me feel like a mom. Ones that I love as mom would. I have been able to work with them in way I couldn't have, if I did have a husband and family. I wouldn't have been able to connect with them the same way. This is just one area, in which answers were given to me. They were an answer to numerous prayers. Prayers given over years, and answers given over those same years.

   I have grown in many other ares also. I have learned to take care of a home and car in ways other women many not be able to. I am kind of a handy person because I have needed to be. Oh sure, I can call people to take care of things for me, but why, we are here to learn and grow right? There are things I can't do, and I will call upon others to help, but I will always try to do what I can to grow as a person.

  I am fully aware I am missing out on so much, being married and starting a family. I know that I would be complete with a husband who brings the priesthood in my home, and kids that love me from their infancy. Believe me when I tell you that is something on my mind regularly. Trust me when I say that just because I am adopting, doesn't mean I don't want the whole package. I fully believe that one day, it will happen. One thing that is important for everyone to understand, I am doing what is right for me at this time in my life.

  Trust me when I say, this is not something I am doing lightly. This is not something that was a whim. This is something I have thought about, planned for, prayed about, and have only moved forward completely trusting upon the arm of The Lord. I pray everyday for guidance in this process. I pray everyday for understanding from the those who don't know that I am following my path in life.

   Yes I am truly happy in life. There is no doubt in my answer.