America.....

4th of July. Our independence day. As I spent the afternoon tailgating with friends at a soccer game, my mind wandered.

It took me to Haiti (Port-au-Prince) where my little man waits for me. He plays with the limited toys they have at the creche, not knowing that I have been praying, working, crying, and begging for him to come here and be mine.

I sat, and as I watched those I was with playing games, chatting, enjoying each other and the amazing day it was, my mind could only focus on wanting him here with me to celebrate. To become an American citizen and celebrate the freedoms we have. To enjoying the freedom outside his walls of the creche.

I watched kids from other groups and the fun they had kicking a ball around, riding their scooters, running around and laughing. Then turned and could almost see him there with us. Talking with everyone, eating, playing the games we play.

My mind is focused on my little boy, how I miss him being here for these celebrations. I can't wait to explain them to him, watch the wonder in his eyes as he experiences things for the first time. What it would have been, to see him watching fireworks last night.

Rio Tinto put on a spectacular show, with good music and great friends, my little "Giles" would have had a ball.

Happy birthday America, hope to have a new citizen for your next birthday bash.

...and then we wait some more

Thank you to everyone who joined in fasting with me. Thank you to those who sent prayers up in my honor. Thank you to friends who sent good vibes my way. Now we wait for these to work in our favor.  There really isn't anymore we can do at this point.

I continue to work on making sure I am financially ready to proceed with the finalization of  the adoption, fly to Haiti and go through the courts, then bring him home.  Fund raisers still in affect with me until this is complete. Just so you know, I haven't stopped talking about those, so here is your fair warning of what is to come.  I may have another yard sale this year, I still have the bead bracelets I am selling (see previous post for pictures and explanation) and I have some items for a silent auction that I will be doing on facebook (once I figure out how).  Please share this message with folks and spread the word that Kayleen's Kid Quest moves forward and can always use help. :-)

I guess I hoped that once my fast ended I would just have an answer pop into my head with a date that this would happen. (The only "pop" in my head was the Pepsi I chugged afterwards.) When the answer didn't magically appear, I had to stop to think about what my fasting did to help me progress in my adoption and/or my attitude towards it.  It renewed my faith that what I am doing is what The Lord intended for me to do. It was Him who guided me to this path, and it is Him I need to let continue to guide me in it. I think I lost sight of that with different things that have happened in my life lately. I need to put my trust back in Him, while still doing everything I can do - physically, mentally and spiritually.

For those of you on Facebook, there is a page titled Chances for Children. This is the creche where my little guy is living. I get some of my information of the progress from this page. If you get a chance, check it out and maybe like it, so you get the "updates" as well. That being said, on June 10th, they posted the following:  "We have our first two adoption files out of IBESR under the new system! Things keep inching along..." This indicates that maybe my file hasn't been put on hold. It sounds as if they, maybe, hired some new employees and are trying to put a system in place to keep things moving forward, for everyone. Please keep them in your prayers.

I will continue to try and get into mommy mode as I continue to get some of my paperwork updated for them. We continue to try and get the house ready for him as well. We are currently stumped in figuring out a new railing for the living room. We know what we want, it's how to make it a reality that is getting us.  I still hesitate to buy clothes, toys and such for his room as I know there are many who would beat me alive for taking the fun away from them. His room just looks so lonely.

To all the many fans of my quest, thank you. We stay positive, we move forward. I have hope because of you.

Kayleen's Kid Quest continues....

Where do I turn for help?

It has been a little over three years since I started on adoption journey. To be completely honest, I thought, for sure, I would have my little nugget by now. I had chosen the age and gender that was completely opposite of the popular choice for Haiti. I have to remind myself that I put this journey in The Lord's hands from the beginning, and it's time I allow let myself be calm knowing that He will bring us together at the time we both are meant to meet and fall in love.

A lot has happened in my life since I started this amazingly emotional journey. My heart, mind and soul have been taken so many different places. Places I never imagined going, yet found that I can't see my life now without having gone there. I have since met some incredible people, people that I now call friends. I have found a new depth of friendship with those I have been friends with for a while and some friends/supporters I have never met in person, yet they share the excitement with me each time I talk or chat online with them.  What an amazing path I am on, what amazing people I have found to be a part of my journey and my life.

With that being said, I take you into the update you have all been asking about. Not to say it's one you want to hear, yet it's where we are in the process. Be strong my friends, it's your strength that continues to keep me mentally and emotionally moving forward in this.

I received word that a few of my documents are about to expire, which means I get to update, re-notarize and re-submit them to USCIS for an extension approval. Included in this is getting fingerprinted again (4th time), Update my employment letter, new doctors letter (should be interesting since my doctor retired in November), updated home study, bank letters, retirement documents, tax returns.

When I received the email with this information my heart sank, it felt like a weight was added on to my shoulders. "Why is this happening?", my mind shouted inside my head. Why is this taking so long? Why, when I started this journey, did I feel like it was going to just go so smoothly? Maybe because it wasn't my idea, it was a feeling placed inside my heart and I went with it. What is this journey teaching me? It's amazing what happens to ones self when you ask yourself questions like this. You begin to find the answers in those you have chosen to be around you. They give you answers to questions they didn't know you had.

When you have friends and family suggesting we do a fast to maybe help with the process, one sits up to take notice. The support I get is unbelievable. Members of my faith, members of other faiths, some who don't really have a particular faith (yet believe in a supreme being), some I don't know their beliefs at all. The one thing I do know, is that they are on my side, they are supporting me the only way they can. I have been luckier than any one else on this earth with the number of people that have come into my life as a result of this journey.

So with all of that being said, I turn to you my friends, family, distant supporters of Kayleen's Kid Quest, for help.

I am going to hold a fast 6/13 - 6/14. I would like to invite all of you to join me in this.

As I begin my fast I will be praying for those who work in the adoption process in Haiti and the USA, that their minds and hearts will be filled with the answers they need to move files forward (not just my file, but all). I will pray they will figure out a procedure that will allow files to move more swiftly and allow these waiting children to go to a loving family, a little quicker. I pray my heart, mind and soul will be comforted and find the patience I seem to have lost along the way.

I know everyone's faith is a little different so if you choose to join in the fast, you can go as long as your faith (and or body) tells you to. If you don't/can't fast, just pray. If you don't/can't pray, just send me good thoughts.

Thank you seems so small to the many who have supported me, but thank you is what I offer at this time. I may have to plan a U.S. Tour when I get him so all of you can meet what you helped my obtain.

Kayleen's Kid Quest continues.....