My Roller Coaster Ride

I heard rumors about adoption being a roller coaster ride, but hey, I love roller coasters so what the heck, I'm going to do it.

Who knew that it would be one of the longest rides of my life. With highs, higher than I have ever been, and lows so far down, I didn't know I could be down so low.

The highs come when you get any kind of news in regards to your adoption process and where you are in it. They come from finding out that you moved ahead (even one space) in getting closer to completing the process and bringing your little one home. Any kind of hope given to you about moving forward. 

When you're up at the top and feeling so high, happy and realize you love the tickle in your tummy that you know is about happen, you lose your thought process about what happens AFTER the ride gets to bottom.

Yes, all that stuff in your tummy which tickled, drops in your belly like a rock, and that's when you know, you're there. It just sits there until the next rise in your ride. You have no control, you have to sit in the cart and goes where it takes you.  Before you know it, your emotions get the best of you and........tears. Yep, you read that right, tears. Unexplained, unprovoked, but there, streaming down your face. 

Am I enjoying my ride? Yes. Was I truly prepared for the highs and lows? No. I am not sure anyone, in my position, would know how to prepare for a ride like this one. Even I, couldn't explain, well enough, to someone thinking about adoption what to expect emotionally.

So to anyone out there thinking about it...... I hope you like roller coasters, because this is the biggest ride of your life.

Kayleen's Kid Quest continues....