I am not sure how many of you know the story of my decision to adopt, but I think I will tell you just to explain a decision recently made.
It was close to a year ago that the idea of adoption was planted in my head. It was after a youth fireside we attended where the speaker had talked of his adopting a little girl from Haiti. That was the seed, and from there the idea grew and thoughts got stronger. One morning while laying in bed, fully awake, there was a little voice (which sounded like it was right by my ear) which said, "mommy". This was an audible voice, not something in my head. so needless to say, I sat straight up. I closed my eyes and prayed for understanding of what just happened. Adoption is what came as that answer. Haiti was the country, that was such a strong feeling. There was no doubt that I would adopt a little boy from Haiti. After several weeks of pondering and prayer, also several trips to the temple for more focus. I knew that the this choice was right for me. At this point I hadn't told anyone about it, it was something I felt I needed to get a little deeper into before I shared my new quest.
I started researching adoption and who might be the best to work with and came upon Children's House International. I forwarded my information on to them and to my surprise the woman who responded is from Lehi, Ut and had a son on his mission. (she lives in both Utah and Bolivia), it was kind of an answer if this was the right place to work through. I submitted my information and was told that I was approved to move forward with the adoption. It was only after this happened that I shared my new quest with a very few people. I started working on all the requirements needed.
About three months into the process, I was told that Haiti was closing to become a Hague process and I was not far enough along in the process that I could stay so I would have to choose another country. Let's just say that I was in complete shock because Haiti was such a strong answer for me as to where I should adopt from. There was never a question in my mind as to where my little boy would come from. Why would The Lord confirm with me that Haiti is where I should adopt only to have the pulled away after such a short time?
It was at this time I was given three other countries to choose from, after much prayer and pondering, Ethiopia was the answer I was given, even though it was really expensive to travel to.Although a serious concern about how to get the money to travel there twice, I still felt it was right. So I called and moved forward with it. For the next 6 months, my heart and soul were in Ethiopia. I had accepted this change and knew that my little boy, wherever he was from, would be loved no less by me. I went through all the paperwork and was in the middle of my home study when my social work told me, "So, I have some news", which I am not going to lie, almost gave me a heart attack, so I asked what it was. She then told me that Haiti has been reopened and I could still move back over.
I had put so much time and heart into Ethiopia that I told her I wanted to stay. Little did I know, The Lord really did want me to go back to Haiti. My original answer was right, I just needed to trust Him. I hope I showed my faith by accepting Ethiopia in the interim, but it seems Haiti was always the answer. As one friend told me, "maybe my little boy wasn't quite in the age bracket I was requesting, so I needed to wait for him to get into that group." Whatever the reason for the change, I was willing to adopt from whichever country The Lord guided me to.
When my social worker turned the home study report in, her supervisor had a couple of concerns with it and both of them suggested maybe I change back to Haiti. This made me wonder why they kept saying I should. I started the process of prayer and temple visits again to gain a better understanding of what I needed to do. This time, it seemed to take forever to receive an answer. Maybe I just expected it because from the beginning, the answers had always come so quickly and they were so definite. Just before one temple trip and friend posted a message that maybe I needed to make a decision and have the Lord confirm it, rather than just rely upon Him for the answer. What a turn of thoughts for me at that point. I went to the temple with a totally different mindset. It was a few days after that I received confirmation that I should go back to Haiti for the adoption.
Maybe I was given the answer of Ethiopia because it was so expensive and He knew it would be a little easier for me to move back when the time was right. Anywho, after that long detailed description of what has happened, the jest of the story is this.........
I am now (again) adopting from Haiti.
I am currently in a holding pattern waiting for the background checks to come back from California, Nevada, and Nova Scotia. There might not be much to say, but still so much to do to prepare for his arrival. Slowly but surely we get the house a little more ready. I prepare myself a little more each day to become a mom. One day, this will happen and I have such an excitement about it.
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