Family Photos

   I received an email last night about some missing documents I needed to sign and send back to the adoption agency, plus they wanted some family photos. That was fun since I am not the biggest fan of getting my picture taken. So I went through my pictures on Facebook and here is what I sent over. Now I might get in trouble for sharing these, but oh well.

  Also, I am going to need more photos to submit with my dossier, so if any of you have recent photos of me and want to send them over to see if I like them enough to send, please send to leenster34@comcast.net

Lance, Me, Andy having us an Apple Beer (Sparkling Apple Juice)

Me, Kris and Mom in Hawaii

Me and Kris at Brandon's Navy Graduation

Me and my sister in Hawaii

Me and my sister getting ready for the Luau

Me and my silly mom in Switzerland

Me and Jordan at the Luau (she is all about the video camera) LOVE HER

ps: now that I know how to upload photo's this blog might just get a little better. WHAT?

Setbacks......not a fan

   So I emailed my social worker (SW) yesterday because I hadn't received my approval letter. She had me call her which, right off the bat, scared me. However, I got up the nerve to call. When she submitted her home study report, her supervisor came back with a couple of concerns. While I have one of the concerns in the process of getting fixed, it's the other one that may delay this adoption process and scares me the most, so that's the one I will tell you all about.

   When my social worker started my home study there were a lot of changes coming down because of  Russia's closure of adoptions. Most of the international adoption agencies are now having to follow Hague standards, which is a more detailed home study and more in depth background check. Since these changes hadn't officially hit this agency, my SW received permission to complete the home study using their regular guidelines, because she had already started the process. Now that there are setbacks and the report isn't complete, they may have to change it to follow these Hague guidelines, which will delay my adoption by quite some time.

   Oh, can I tell you how my prayers have changed? I pray for understanding in what these changes will mean to me, I pray for those in charge that they will have an open mind and be willing to allow the report to go through as is, but the hardest part, is allowing myself to pray for "Thy will be done, not mine". While this is the single most thing I want to happen in my life, I know I cannot force it happen faster than The Lord wants it happen. I must submit myself to Him and rely on His timeline, not mine.

   How truly grateful I am to two friends who remind me daily to keep the faith, and who help me through these "hard times", though not really hard, they just seem to be. Friends who calm me by saying that they are praying for me without hesitation. Friends who I go to everyday to let them know where I am in spirit and emotion, who listen to the good and bad, and who never tell me to stop bugging them. Thank you both for the great friends you are. I love you both so much.

I have ANGELS watching over me.....

   Being a single woman has made this adoption process quite interesting. Trying to find the money for each fee that has come due, has kept me pretty busy over these last 10 months. As I continue to pray and stay close to The Lord, things keep falling into place just as I need them to. It's amazing how smoothly this whole process is going for me.

   That being said, I had a couple of sweet angels watching over me this weekend. One angel called to let us know about someone selling a very nice wooden bed with a nightstand for $5. It came with a headboard and foot-board, while it has a little smoke damage from a fire, it's something that can be sanded and painted with no worries. Such a nicer bed than the one I currently have in his room. I can't wait to get started on refinishing it. 

   The second angel has been supportive through cans and lots of metal to recycle, also always looking for great deals for me to help me save money where I can. Now has come through with possibly some carpet for the bedroom.  How do I repay these angels for all of the love and support they continue to give me until I bring this little boy home? I feel so blessed to have angels seen and unseen in my life. 

   I can't believe how much love people have shown to me during this important part of my life. I can't believe the angels who constantly find ways to help me when I need it most. Angels who listen to what I have to say, even when I am not in the best of moods. Angels who bring me little presents knowing I need a lift that day, Angels who just help because they know how badly I want to be a mom. 

   Thank you angels for always watching over me. I love each of you, those I know of and those who prefer to stay a secret. You are truly blessings in my life and I thank my Heavenly Father each day that you are a part of my life. 

His bedroom almost complete

   As a single person, I have NEVER spent any significant amount of money at Costco, so imagine my shock when the cashier said the total amount was over $430. I made it out alive, much poorer, but alive. As I put things into perspective, I could have spent over $1200 to have carpet put in, but with every penny counting towards bringing my little boy home, I will live with lessor amount and have laminate wood flooring in the bedrooms instead. Once I get him home and settled, I can start planning and saving for carpet then.

   With the painting all complete, the ceiling fan/light re-installed, door put back on, the flooring is really the last step in having his room completely ready. The only thing I really have left to do is to finish sanding the rocking chair and then paint it and BAM....I am ready for my little boy to be here.

   I won't purchase clothes until I get there to meet him so I can determine size, only then will I attempt to purchase some clothes for him. I will be getting some toys to finish off his room. Mostly cars and trucks. I want to let him figure out what he likes before I really guide him in any direction of sports or any other theme. Cars and trucks are generic enough boy toys that will tide him over until he settles and decides what he really likes.

  Once we get the flooring down and I feel like the room is ready for him to come home, I will post some pictures, or you can feel free to stop by and see what we've done. I love the room and really hope/pray he does as well. I hope it is a room comfortable for him to feel like he is finally home. A room that when he lays down at night, he can relax enough to sleep knowing his mom will be in the next room and will be there when he needs her.

   So many thoughts run through my head now that I am in the next phase of the adoption. I want it to move faster, yet I need to keep my cool and know that this process cannot be rushed. I pray daily for patience. I pray daily that I continue to be prepared for my little boy, emotionally and physically, I also pray that my little boy is being prepared to accept me as his mom, both emotionally and physically. Hopefully we both will be ready for each other. I move forward in faith, knowing that the little boy I adopt will be the little boy I have been preparing to raise.

Kayleen's Kid Quest continues........

Am I ready for this?

   I spent the weekend down in St George with a couple of my friends to watch their boys play in a soccer tournament. It was quit cold in the mornings, then quite warm in the afternoon. Yes I came back with a good looking sunburn on my face. The time spent with my friends was great, I love getting to know them outside of the everyday routines our lives run. I see them in a different light, in different circumstances, and it makes me love them even more for who they are.

  Any-who  the thoughts running through my mind today are ones, not of insecurity, but more of wonder. As I sat and watched the games, I watched the parents reactions, not just those of my friends, but of all the parents there to see their children play. The frustration of a missed opportunity, the anger of a bad call (or non call), the joy when they score or when a play unfolds exactly as it should. And my favorite, someone calling the referee "fatty" because they don't like the way he is calling the game. I was there to cheer on the kids, but I didn't have the emotional tie like everyone around me. It made me wonder if I am really ready for that kind of emotion.

   Will I be the kind of parent who cries for her son when he fails at something? Will I be the happiest person in the world when he succeeds at those same things? Will I be able to teach him a lesson through each failure in his life? Will I call a referee "fatty" when things aren't going the way I think they should? Will I be on the sidelines of every game, or in the audience of every performance? Will I clap louder than anyone else because my child (in my eyes) was the best? Will I be able to tell him how awesome he is, enough times that he believes me?  After all, aren't these all ways that one shows love for their child? I am guessing I am not the only soon to be first time mom who has these thoughts, nor will I be the last. Yet they are there, in the back of my mind.

   I want to be like these parents I spent the weekend with. Not just my two close friends, but the others there, who were cheering just as loud, and being just as proud of their children. It's interesting to me how differently I look at parents now and how I try to figure out what I want to do as a parent to help my son become the best person he can be. So thank you to all those parents from this weekend, who were great examples of how parents should be, and how parenting can make or break who a child becomes.

  Thank you Natalie and Jennica for allowing me spend time with you both and for teaching me what I need to do to become an AWESOME mom.

   When all is said and done, I know I am ready for this. I like these opportunities which make me think about this adoption and what I need to do to prepare both physically and emotionally.

Wait....for.... it......

   I was hoping to have my approval letter from the social worker by now. For some reason it has not come yet. So I have to hold off applying for grants until that comes in the mail. I have about eight different places (thank you Hailey Larsen) which I am going to apply through.

   I am in the process of the adoption where the fees come fast and get a little higher with each section completed. Then I also have to worry about traveling over there (twice). So now I need to start looking into airline ticket prices, hotel/motel prices, plus cost of a driver, and food while there for each trip. Now it starts to get interesting.

   Prayers will be appreciated in the area of my grants. The more I am able to get, the less coming from my paychecks. Don't get me wrong, while the money part is definitely something weighing heavily on my mind, it's not anything I would change about what I am going through. It's all a part of becoming a parent, right? All parents worry about money.

   So let me tell you all where I go from here (once I get approval letter) as there are quite a few people interested:

1) I apply to the to Ethiopian government for approval to adoption within their country. (should take about  4-6 weeks for an answer)

2) Once I receive approval, I submit my dossier (a very detailed package about me and my life) something I have been working on for a few months. This package has to be notarized and copies made (just in case something gets misplaced). Then it is forwarded to the appropriate people.

3) Wait for referral of my little boy.

4) Once I accept the referral, I wait for them to tell me when I have a court date (in Ethiopia- about 3 day trip) to start all the paperwork to bring him home (this is where I meet him in person for the first time). Then I come home and wait for the paperwork to process.

5) Receive call that paperwork is complete and I can go pick him up. Then I head back to Ethiopia (for about a week) to pick him up and bring him home.

Kayleen's Kid Quest continues.............

That's what FRIENDS are for

   I find that I ponder, quite often, about the friends I have in my life. I have friends who I have known for over 20 years, and I have friends I just met. Each friend brings something into my life. Some friends I am able to speak to regularly, while the others not so much. Though I try as hard as I can to touch base with each person whom I call friend, it's hard to make contact with each of you personally. I am thankful for the social media which helps me keep everyone, who is interested, up to date on where I am in this adoption process.

   With that being said, I want to take the time to thank each of my friends who have given of their time and possessions to help me move forward with this quest I am on. So many people have answered my call for items to sell at a yard sale, cans to recycle, and help around the house getting it ready for the home study. Sometimes it's just a message on Facebook asking how things are, or a text message telling me how excited they are for me in what I am doing. Sometimes it's an envelope of money I receive in the mail. There is no way to fully express what is in my heart with each of these ways of support. I know this is what FRIENDS do, and I am so blessed to be on the receiving end of it. Thank you all from the bottom of my butt (I say butt because it's much bigger than my heart).

   There are a few people I would like to personally say THANK YOU to (and they may be mad for me singling them out) but I go with what's in my heart.

   Natalie Dansie -  has been with me from the very beginning of my quest. I worked with Natalie in the Young Women program at church and over the span of the many years working together, she became one of the closest and best friends. She is one amazing lady.  Because of this, she was one of the first people I told about the adoption, and from the moment the words came out of my mouth, she has supported me, was excited for me and has tried to figure out how she can help me make this happen. She tells me constantly what a good mom I will make (which is a question I have in my mind regularly). Almost every day since then, she has been the rock I lean on during the ups, the downs and blah times of this quest. She has listened to me vent, be angry and be excited about each step I have taken. While I am sure that there are days she is just done listening to me, she always (without fail) has words of encouragement anytime I need to hear them. She has given me more of herself than just about anyone. She is truly a wonderful woman, friend and holds a very important place in my heart.

   Jennica Murray -  who started out as an acquaintance through Natalie has become a very dear friend. Natalie and Jennica have been friends for many years and while I haven't known Jennica nearly as long, she has been so supportive of this quest from the time we told her about it. She asks (daily) about where I am in the process or what I am doing to get ready for my little boy to come home. She, also, listens to me vent, be angry and be happy with each step. She gives me happy thoughts during the hard moments. She offers ideas and insights to help me figure out where to go when I am stumped. She checks in with me regularly to make sure I am happy and things are going smooth.  I love how quickly (kind of) she became a friend and a big part of my life.

   I have Natalie and Jennica on speed dial, I send them group texts anytime something big (well maybe just big to me) about the adoption happens. I am sure they think I am a total dork, but I am so happy to have them both that I can share these things with. These ladies both give me of themselves daily. They are always there to lift me up, bring me back to reality, and take me out when needed. It's the daily contact, and support, which helps me so much through.  Thank you both for being such AWESOME friends and allowing me to be a part of your lives.

   The Auga Family - who understand completely what I am going through and has offered insights to what I need to do, focus on, and move forward with in the adoption. Everything I know, they have explained in detail to me and what to expect next. They have been to the house to help us paint, and more importantly, lay the flooring so we didn't have to walk on the plywood for very long. We have known the Auga's for more years than I can remember (Dan since the 70's) and have been blessed by them through this preparation stage far more than I can truly explain in a blog.

   I could spend all day typing in names and what each of my friends mean to me in this quest. I know that not everyone can give of their time, money or emotions everyday. This is my quest, and I share as often as I can. I know most of you look for these posts to follow along and see where I am. I thank each one of you, MY FRIENDS, for your thoughts and prayers for me. They are as important to me as anything else you could do. I feel your love and support. That's what friends are for............right?

Home Study.....COMPLETE

   What a night!!!!!  I truly had no idea what to expect with the final home study walk through. My stomach was tight and mind deep in thought about what she was going to look at,  and what she might have concerns with. About 15 minutes before she got there, I went into my room and had a heart to heart with God. My nerves calmed and I was able to mentally prepare for her to arrive.

    It was nowhere near scary. She came in and we sat at the kitchen table (since there is no furniture upstairs). We went through detailed information about the house, my finances, and ultimately how I plan to handle certain situations with my little boy. It caused some pretty deep thoughts for me last night, but it appears I gave the answers she was looking for. I should have the approval letter within the week.

   So where do I go from here? That is a great question.  I, now,  get to submit the application for adoption from Ethiopia (I-600A) to their government and wait. While I wait I put together my dossier (group of papers which show pretty much everything about my life). It consists of letters from my bank, my doctor, my employer, taxes, forms that give power of attorney, reference letters, birth certificates, etc. The good news is that I have most of the required information for this. I should have it completed before I get the approval back from the government giving me permission to adopt.

   Once the dossier has been submitted, I wait for them to refer a child to me. This can take some time, so I hesitate to go into this part simply because it becomes a waiting game for everyone who is vested in this adoption with me. (and there are a lot of people going through this process with me). I will update you all more on this area later. Stay tuned.

   THE GOOD NEWS is that once I receive the copy of the home study approval I can start applying for grants to help me come up with the remaining fees. There are several agencies out there that give grants for adoption so I hope to get one or two. If you know of anyone who gives grants for adoption or for anything else which might apply here, please comment and let me know. The more places I can submit the better my chances of getting help. This latter part of the adoption is where the most costs are, so I want to make sure my chances as good as possible.

   I will also still be doing some fund raising. I am still trying to get the online auction off the ground, but things have taken priority over it. Please look for that to come soon. Also, please note the donation link on the right hand side of my blog, if you know of anyone who might be willing to help out, please share it with them. There are angels everywhere and I can only get this to so many of them. I know that you, my friends, can share this link and maybe, just maybe, someone we don't know will be touched enough to help in way no one else can.

   For now we will continue to move forward on the remodel of the house. There is still much to do, but we don't feel so rushed to get it done. My social worker could see what we are doing and is okay with the progress we have made. The house looks like a new house inside. It's very cool. Feel free to stop by and check out what we have done.

   I am truly blessed with the most amazing people in my life. I am blessed to have friends who support me without hesitation in my quest to become a mom. Friends who listen to all I have to say about this adoption and what I am doing to prepare for it. Friends who read my blogs (boring as they might be) to get an update on where I am in the process. You are all great to me and it humbles me to know you all love and support me in this great quest of mine.

Kayleen's Kid Quest.......continues